Jill Is Hot

My body feels tired like when you are a kid and you swim all day at the neighborhood pool. My sisters and I used to eat Goldfish and one time my sister threw them back up in the pool. They closed the pool for an hour so they could clean it. That summer we had a babysitter who lived with us. Her name was Jill and some of the boys from the neighborhood spray painted "Jill is hot" on the bridge outside of our neighborhood. Jill slept in our spare bedroom and spent every night talking on the phone to her boyfriend. Her boyfriend smoked and I remember wondering how in the world she would want a boyfriend that smoked. Jill gave me a glamour shot of her lying on her stomach surrounded by stuffed cows. I thought she was beautiful. That summer I tripped jumping through the sprinkler and cut my foot open pretty badly. Jill looked really scared. The teenage boys who spray painted "Jill is hot" would ring our doorbell at night asking for her. I would ride my bicycle for hours in a circle around the driveway because I wasn't allowed to go in the street. After a long rain I would bring my Barbies outside so that they could swim in the puddles. I pretended they were camping. My Barbies were always everywhere and I remember my mom yelling at me to clean them up. One day I cleaned out the bottom of my closet and made it my house within a house. I tied flashlights from hangars and sometimes I would sleep in there. That summer I almost drowned when my sister flipped me over in an innertube and I couldn't get myself out. The power went out that summer and I was allowed to eat as many popsicles and icecream sandwiches as I could stomach. I can remember the shock and excitement of my mom handing me the entire box. It will forever be the best summer of my life. I didn't care about boys or money or what I was going to be when I grew up. I didn't know the meaning of cool and I was entirely myself. I did what I wanted without worrying what anyone thought. My only friends were my sisters and I liked it that way.

Like forever.com

I should really stop reading your livejournal. Like forever.com. I'm not looking forward to my birthday this year. I am sad about it because I really love birthdays. Especially mine. I guess I'm not excited because I don't feel like anyone will care. I'm excited to see Howard Finster's house. I am excited for Halloween. I'm gonna be a mermaid. Fuck you Sarah Palin. I wish I owned my own house. I wish alot of things actually. Most of which will never happen. They don't have to happen for me to be happy though. I just always want my way.